That particular post is about a guy i used to be infatuated with. I guess most of it can be seen as relating to my battle with anorexia but, that wasn't it's intentions.
His best friend would go behind his back and flirt with me, he tried to fuck me, and would pretend to care about what i'm going through. I am drawn to people that i know don't give a damn about me. Mostly because it makes it okay in my mind for me to not care about me. It reestablishes that I am not worth genuine affection. The guy i was infattuated with tried very hard to show me he actually cared. That he truly loved me for me. I of course pushed him away and would always mess with his best friend, almost to throw it in his face, showing him that i was just a dirty coke addict who didn't deserve his love. Thank you for reading. I hope to stay sober for a bit longer, there's is a new female in my life who I am honestly happy with and i'm hoping she's everything i've needed all this time to hold myself together. Unlike every past lover i've had, she's not trying to play games with me and that's all i've ever wanted.
I appreciate that readers like my writing style. It means alot to me and encourages me to continue to write more, I have so much to say and my brain moves so fast that often, my fingers can't keep up with my train of thought. Again, thank you for reading. BTW, i love questions. Feel free to ask them, there is very little i am ashamed of anymore.
And for old times sake:
I'm honored that you would reply to me in a new blog post. Thank you, D-Nikki. And I hope to read more writings from you in the future. I have a blog about writings, so, with your permission, I could link from my blog to the post called "Love" that you wrote and I could write a review. It's what I want my blog to be about. Reviews of books and writings, or just my own writings. Tell me what you think.
ReplyDeleteAgain, thank you so much for responding to me. It really does mean a lot to know that you're listening.